The Feeling Of Disappointment

Managing the expectation and the reality.

Photo by Alex Green from Pexels

“Anyone can hide, facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong”.
-Sarah Dessen

Today was supposed to be my day to do as I please to do. The grandbabies were supposed to go with their mother, and I was supposed to focus on me, and in whatever tasks or nothingness I may have wanted to get into. Not only am I disappointed, I’ll speak for the children as well. These little girls expected to see their mommy today, and mommy didn’t come through, I would think that they too felt the disappointment. I’m no psychologist, however I was once a child myself, and I am sure that I know the feeling of disappointment. Like for instance when my father never was around, or when he beat my mother and us children grew up watching it, or the time he’d take the only money we had to eat to go and drink. I’d say that qualifies me to speak about it.

There will be disappointments in life. It’s okay to feel sad just don’t wallow for longer than necessary.

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So , what exactly is disappointment? Though the disappointment I feel comes from a relative, a very close relative, disappointment could mean its caused by a person, place or thing. Disappointment is having thoughts and expectations that are not aligned to what you imagined your reality should of been. The expectations you put on yourself or others are to high for that time or place. Even if you think the expectation is realistic, they may not be.

We in some form or another have experienced disappointment, whether it was directly or indirectly meant, it still leaves a feeling of , ” it isn’t fair”, “why are they so selfish”. When a family member the night before arranges to relieve you from putting in overtime, and it backfires due to their lack of following through, is a great example of them thinking of themselves, and not considering the feelings of those affected. This is called having expectations failing on you. Researches states as an emotion, disappointment is a sense of sadness, a feeling of pain, a gap in the expected reality.

Final Thoughts

As humans we sometimes tend to set ourselves up for just that, ” disappointment” although this may leave an uncomfortable feeling that nags at us for the rest of the day,weeks, or months, for some years, there are some benefits to this negative reality. As a positive, I’m writing this blog___pause. My grandchild just woke from her nap. After much crying, and tantrums, I’m back to the blog. okay__ Disappointment happens when we’re in need of something, and that something isn’t fulfilled. Like , the grandmother who expected her daughter to come through, and instead received a no call, no show. Disappointment can unexpectedly come from family, friends, neighbors, our employers, even our intimate partners. Although this feeling isn’t comfortable , it is temporary, as the saying goes, “this too shall pass”, and even though it seems like it’s always leading to repeating the saying, sometimes repeating it is what it takes to get through it. Here are some steps to take if you should ever find yourself being disappointed by a loved one, a close friend or anyone in your circle.

10 ways to deal with disappointment

  1. Allowing yourself to process it is important, don’t suppress the feeling. You are entitled to feel how you feel. So, let it out.
  2. Reach out to a friend, lol, talking to someone will help you gain perspective, and you’ll get a sense of clarity. Clear the air, breathe and talk about it.
  3. No one knows yourself, more than you do. You know how you feel, you know your heart.
  4. Acceptance is important. Practicing it will bring self-acceptance.
  5. Hold people accountable. Sometimes , easier said than done, but it is doable. Do it for you, not so much them, but for yourself.
  6. Do not allow yourself to dwell on pity.
  7. Do not waste time on what could have been.
  8. Remember opportunities come and go. The right one will come.
  9. Allow yourself to feel self compassion.
  10. Practice self-love, yes you were vulnerable, why because we are human, continue trusting. Set boundaries, but continue to trust.

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